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Though they publicly denied it, all girlfriends were expected to participate in Hef's bizarre bedtime group sex ritual. Hef would take photos of his girlfriends and him every night before they went out, then have them delivered to each girlfriend's door the next morning. The photos "only amplified the massive pressure to always look perfect and cause the girlfriends to spend hours critiquing their appearances," Madison writes. She also describes Hef as a "hoarder" with "endless desire for momentos. Hef offered Madison a quaalude out of a crumpled tissue on her first night out clubbing with him. When Madison told him she doesn't do drugs, she says Hef replied, "Usually I don't approve of drugs, but you know, in the '70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.

HOLLY MADISON

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The 14 Worst Things About Hugh Hefner, as Revealed in Holly Madison's New Book

It's safe to say that after the revelations in Madison's just-released Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny , she has successfully squashed any such questions in the future. Madison's depression in the Playboy Mansion reached harrowing depths, yet she felt trapped there: by her fears about her limited professional possibilities, by her unwillingness to admit to anyone how sad she really was, and by Hefner's emotional control over her. Some of the effects of that moment in the zeitgeist still linger today. Sitting on her shaded patio overlooking her garden on a hot summer day, Madison, now 35, said, "I felt like I had something to say about being in the midst of that whole thing that was going on where Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson and Kendra were so celebrated — and I was a part of it too — for being dumb on TV.
By Maureen Callahan. June 21, am Updated September 28, pm. This, she thought, was clearly the way out. In , Hugh Hefner and the Playboy empire already seemed like a toothless relic.